(no subject)

My birthday is next Thursday. Next week is the week before finals in a quarter that has truly spawned from hell. Since I was 19 I have always done something to celebrate my natal day, usually a party. Last year's didn't go so well for me, because most of my friends weren't able to make it. But it was a shared party so I couldn't go cry and pout in my room if I wanted to. Heather made sure I had too much fun anyway, but I am clear I don't want to repeat that kind of fun now. This year, between the ennui evoked by last year's memories, finals approaching with a booming sound of doom and the classical impoverished state of being a student, I am torn between wanting to have fun with friends and just hiding in my room. I may compromise and splurge, go on one of my favorite dates with airshipjones, then enjoy the Gomez concert on the 19th with vvestfirzka. A little voice in my head says I am getting too old to care about these sorts of things so much, but that sure isn't my inner child, and she pretty much has the final say on all things involving fun.

Conlicted.